Flattery Will Get You Nowhere
by The Emcee
Summary: Bilbo is six months pregnant. Graduation is coming up soon and Thorin's proposed. With baby plans, wedding plans, homework, and preparing for college, Bilbo doesn't have time to deal with Thranduil's flirting. Thilbo. Thorin/Bilbo. One sided Thranduil/Bilbo. Mpreg. Slash. One-shot. Sequel to Big Surprise


Title: Flattery Will Get You Nowhere

Author: The Emcee

Pairing: Thilbo

Rating: T

Summary: Bilbo is six months pregnant. Graduation is coming up soon and Thorin's proposed. With baby plans, wedding plans, homework, and preparing for college, Bilbo doesn't have time to deal with Thranduil's flirting.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Here's the sequel to _Big Surprise_. There are three stories total for this series, so yeah. I hope you all like this one as much as the first one. Let me know what you think! R&R. Enjoy!

**Flattery Will Get You Nowhere**

Putting up flyers for the chess team's upcoming tournament was putting a strain on his back. He may have been in the school's spirit club, but honestly, why was he always the one who had to post flyers and posters of school events? Oh yes, because he was the club's president. But still, in his condition someone else should've done it, like Ori or Bofur. Ori was far more enthusiastic about tournaments and games and the like; he would've loved putting up flyers on one of the school's many student tact boards. However, he was sick with an ear ache and a sore throat, and Bilbo knew that the younger teen would've been at school had his mother not forced him to stay home.

Bofur, on the other hand, was in perfect healthy. Actually, he rarely got sick. In all of their years as best friends, Bilbo had only seen Bofur sick once and that was with pink eye, which he didn't think counted anyway as it was an infection or whatever of the eye. However, Bofur had a doctor's appointment and had left school earlier that day, so he couldn't help Bilbo out. And as Bilbo was the only one in the club who had a study hall during the last period of the day, thanks to what his guidance councilor called his 'special needs'. Thinking about it made Bilbo want to roll his eyes; his pregnancy wasn't a 'special needs' case.

Pushing the entire thing out of his mind, Bilbo tacked the last flyer up and stared at his handy work. It looked good enough for him, which meant that it was most certainly good enough for the chess team. He was still surprised that the school had decided to create a chess team. Chess wasn't a sport like football or basketball; it didn't require physical strength, but mental strength. To be able to learn and apply strategies and to outwit an opponent was what made it a sport in its own right. Dori, one of Bilbo's friends who had graduated the year before, had been on the chess team. There had been a few times that Bilbo went to a few chess tournaments with Thorin, mostly to show support for their friend than for the actual love of the game.

And, truthfully, Bilbo would never have had an interest in it at all had it not been for his mum. She loved playing board games; she'd play anything, from _Candyland _to _Clue_ to Chinese checkers and chess. His mum had never been able to beat his dad, but she was far better than Bilbo was. But his dad had played chess for years and he was a genius at the game. As he got older though, he stopped playing at often since work was starting to take its toll on him.

Bilbo's heart clenched as he thought about his dad. Things really hadn't gotten better since he had told his parents about his pregnancy. Most of his things were out of the house and in Thorin's room, which actually looked like a teenager's room now. He visited as often as he could to spend time with his mum and Frodo, who was madder than hell at the fact that their dad had done this to Bilbo, but it wasn't the same and he knew that. Just as he also knew that it was probably never going to be the same. That didn't mean that he was going to be any less of a son to his mum or a brother to Frodo; he saw Frodo every day before school, during school, after school, and on the weekends. When his little brother wasn't hanging out with Sam, Merry, or Pip, he was with Bilbo, Thorin, and the twins. There have even been a few times when Sam, Merry, and Pip came over and they all hung out or went out to eat or did something together.

But his dad refused to give any decent headway. After the last big confrontation, which ended in Thorin punching his dad and his dad almost calling the cops, Bungo had relented somewhat. What had happened was that Bilbo and Thorin had stopped by to visit Bilbo's mum after a doctor's appointment. They had just found out that they'd be having a girl and they had been talking excitedly about the baby and scheduling a shower when his dad came home early from work. Upon seeing Thorin's car in the driveway, he had stormed into the house and started raising hell. It had been plain awful. Bilbo, Thorin, and his mum were yelling at his dad while he bellowed and shouted. When Frodo came home, it got even worse. Bilbo hated getting his brother involved in the argument, but there was no getting Frodo to back out of something once he was involved.

In the end, it ended with Thorin being so pissed that he punched Bilbo's dad in the nose, breaking it and causing hot blood to pour onto the carpet. His dad had almost called the cops, but had stopped when Thorin's dad, Thrain, showed up on the Baggins' front door step. Apparently, and Bilbo believed it, they had been so loud and had made so much noise that the neighbors had heard the ruckus. Living only a few houses down, it made perfect sense that Thorin's family would hear it or at the very least see the other neighbors outside talking about it. Anyway, Thrain appearing at the house ended Bilbo's dad's phone call to the police. After talking – threatening, in other words – with his dad, Thrain had told Thorin and Bilbo to get home. Worried that all of the shouting and emotional upset might have caused harm to the baby, Bilbo was the first out the door, after hugging his mum and Frodo.

Thrain arrived at the house about half an hour later and seemed slightly pleased with himself. Although the atmosphere in the house was tense, Bilbo and Thorin both relaxed when Thrain said that the police weren't going to be involved and that he thought he had knocked some sense into 'old Bungo'. Bilbo wondered if he had actually knocked his dad about, but the next time he saw him, he realized that that hadn't been the case. His dad had actually been calm and collected when he talked to him and even asked Bilbo how the baby was doing. It was strange and awkward and things still weren't patched up and the best, but it was a start, he supposed. Certainly, it was better than being treated like a leper.

Shaking his head as though that would make the whole issue with his dad dissipate, Bilbo pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and checked the time. School was almost over and thank God for that. He was tired, his back was aching, and he felt a little nauseous. All he wanted to do was go home and cuddle with Thorin before he had to work on his Sociology project. After dinner, he'd probably turn in since he was very tired. Not only that, but tomorrow was Friday and that meant that Balin would be coming home from college for the weekend. Being the oldest of their little group, Balin had already graduated and was in his second year of college. Bilbo missed his calm presence and the wise, knowing eyes of his friend.

Balin had known something was wrong when he came home during the week Bilbo had told his dad about the baby. One look was all it took and Balin gently asked him what had happened. Naturally, the entire gang was hanging out together at their usual diner and Balin's question had forced Bilbo to tell them all what happened. He had planned on doing so anyway, but Bilbo would've liked a little more time to collect his thoughts. Still, he had Thorin with him the entire time and, honestly, he had nothing to fear. His friends were fiercely loyal and protective of one another and Bilbo was no exception to that. Practically all of them wanted to chop Bilbo's dad's head off. Dwalin, Balin's younger brother, and Gloin and Bifur especially (they were on the football team with Thorin and were even more aggressive than his boyfriend, if possible).

Anyway, Balin would be coming home tomorrow and that meant that everyone, all of his and Thorin's friends, the twins, and Frodo would be going out to eat, carry on, and having a great time. Considering all of the preparations and work that all of the seniors have had to endure n regards to graduation – meetings about fundraisers, prom, class colors, their theme song, etc. as well as were they'd be going for their senior class trip – it'd be nice to just sit down and relax for once instead of having to worry about homework, graduation, his dad, or what the school's spirit club would need to do for the upcoming week.

"Bilbooooooooo," called to twin voices from around the corner of the hallway. He turned and a smile instantly spread across his face. Giggling like two little imps, they scuttled – yes, scuttled – over to him and wrapped him in a twin hug.

"We missed you, Bilbo," Fili said.

"And your baby bump," Kili added as he poked Bilbo's protruding belly. It wasn't all that big, not yet, but it was on its way and the younger twin never passed up a chance to coo over it or touch it.

"Fili, Kili, you saw me this morning," Bilbo told them even as he returned their hug and let them go.

"So?" they both asked him at the same time. Bilbo couldn't help but laugh and smile at them. Honestly, they were incorrigible at the best of times.

"What are you two doing in the high school? School doesn't let out for another ten minutes or so," he asked them. They both shrugged and grinned at him mischievously.

"English is our last class of the day, remember?" Fili asked. Bilbo nodded.

"Yes, I remember that."

"Well, Mr. Laughman doesn't care if we duck out a few minutes early," Kili explained.

"We're his best students, so he lets us do what we want sometimes," Fili added.

"And that means he lets us duck out early sometimes when everyone is packing their stuff up and getting ready to line up at the door," Kili said.

"So that's what we did today," Fili quipped.

"And it didn't hurt that we told him our brother-in-law needed our help getting his own things ready since he's pregnant and all," Kili added, grinning like a little devil.

"Oh, you boys…" Bilbo sighed, shaking his head but smiling at them despite himself. They were so spirited and unique that he couldn't chastise them even if he wanted to or even when he should have. Oh, they were times when he could scold them and make them cower and go to their rooms, but he didn't get that annoyed or angry often. That was probably why it worked whenever he did it.

"Bilbo!" Frodo's voice called out and, before Bilbo had time to blink, his brother was hurling himself into his hairs and hugging him tightly.

"Frodo!" the twins cried out smiling.

"Frodo, what on Earth…?" Bilbo asked laughingly as he hugged his brother. He had truly missed not being around Frodo as much as he used to be. It was hard for the both of them, but they managed and remained close even when their dad made it difficult and tense.

"I saw Fili and Kili leaving English class too and I knew that they were coming to see you so I told my math teacher that I needed to go and see you too," Frodo explained as he pulled out of the hug, beaming proudly. Bilbo shook his head. The twins were a bad influence on his brother. But truthfully, he'd rather Frodo lie to a teacher than drink or do drugs.

"Frodo, I know that you worry, but you mustn't cut class too much or you'll get in trouble," Bilbo said gently before his eyes turned to the twins. "And that goes for the two of you as well."

Immediately, Fili, Kili and Frodo – who had learned it from Fili and Kili of course – gave him big puppy dog eyes and pouted mercilessly at him. They did that often when they were being chastised or scolded. Most of the time, they used it on their moms or Bilbo because they knew that Thrain, Thorin, and Bungo wouldn't fall for it from any one of them. It didn't often work on Bilbo though, but he found himself being more lenient with the three of them since his hormones had gone out of whack due to his pregnancy. But that didn't mean he'd let them off lightly when it came to school.

"It's only a few minutes, Bilbo. It's not like it's half a day," Frodo protested.

"Not even a whole day," Fili injected.

"Like it usually is around tax time," Kili said.

"Then we all take off school. Even you, Bilbo," Frodo added. All three of them gave him looks and Bilbo sighed.

"All right, all right. I suppose you'll win this one," Bilbo caved in, too tired to put up much of an argument anymore. Stupid, bloody spirit club flyers. Why, oh why, did he ever join the spirit club? "Are you excited for Balin coming home?"

"Oh, yes! I can't wait to see him," Frodo gushed, his blue eyes bright with excitement.

"It'll be nice to catch up with him," Fili said.

"He hasn't been very talkative on Facebook," Kili mumbled.

"That's because he's busy, Kili," Frodo told him. "He's studying for his classes and stuff."

"College is harder than middle school or high school, Kili," Fili told him brother. "Besides, you write on his wall almost all the time when you're at home."

"I thought you two did your homework when you went to your room," Bilbo said, his voice adopting a slightly sterner tone than it had before.

"We do!" the twins both cried.

"But we take breaks sometimes," Fili said.

"And when we do, we're online," Kili added.

"We need our computers anyway for research and stuff," Fili quipped.

"More like to get on Facebook and stuff," Frodo teased them. They both shot glares at him.

"You're not helping," they said. The bell suddenly rang out and it made all four of them jump. Doors could be heard opening and the footsteps of teenagers could be heard as they walked down the hall to leave, talking amongst themselves as they went.

"Time to go, Bilbo!" Kili and Frodo both said.

"I still have to go to the guidance office and tell Mrs. Campbell that next week's spirit club meeting has to be moved from Tuesday to Wednesday because of softball practice. Almost of the girls in the club on are on the team," Bilbo explained to them, picking up his book bag as he did so.

"Okay," Frodo said before hugging him again.

"We'll wait for you in Thorin's car," Fili told him as he hugged him when Frodo let go.

"If you don't come out in five minutes, we'll said Thorin in to rescue you," Kili said as he gave Bilbo a bear hug. Not even in high school and he was already taller than the pregnant senior.

"Okay, okay. Now run off before the crowd swallows you," Bilbo said. They scurried off, talking to one another. He watched them go before he began walking down the hallway and towards the office.

Most of the students had already left the building. The front of the school was littered with students walking to their cars, waiting to be picked up, talking to friends, or getting on school buses. There were a few still hanging around in the lobby, chatting away or coming or going from the office or the library. Bilbo made his way to the office, nodding and smiling at a few of the kids who called out to him and said hi. A small wave of nausea crept up in his stomach, but he forced it down. Now was not the time for him to be dashing off to the restrooms to throw up. Again. Morning sickness…ha! It lasted all bloody damn day. Whoever named it morning sickness needed to be thumped hard on the head.

Stepping inside the office, Bilbo smiled and waved at Mrs. Long, the secretary, before he stepped through the doorway on the left and entered the guidance office. Mrs. Campbell was one of the school's guidance councilors and she was in charge of the spirit club while Mr. Eck took care of Interact club and Mr. Trousel oversaw the student council. He could see that she wasn't in the immediate area of the guidance office and he turned to Ms. Smith, who was the secretary for the guidance councilors. She beamed up at him as he walked in.

"Hello, Bilbo. How are you doing?" she asked.

"All right, thanks. You?"

"Never better," she responded.

"Is Mrs. Campbell here?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, but she's in the music wing with Mrs. Hick. She should be back in about five minutes or so, if that. You're welcome to take a seat and wait," Ms. Smith said.

"Okay. Thank you." He sat down on the nearest chair and put his book bag on the floor.

"I've got to run and make some copies. Won't take me long," Ms. Smith said before she got up and left.

Bilbo sat in his chair for a few seconds, but his back was bothering him and he found that he could hardly stand sitting in that God awful chair a moment longer. Standing up, he leaned against the counter and hummed softly to himself. That was when the other door to the guidance office opened and in walked Thranduil.

Thranduil was tall, blonde, and handsome. He was very intelligent – the top of every class, as a matter of fact – and was good at sports, although he never played on any team much to the chagrin of a few of the school's coaches. His family was wealthy and he had come from a long line of Governors and Senators and other politicians. All of the teachers loved him and he was quite popular among the students. Bilbo, however, did not like him one bit and for the simple fact that Thranduil had been trying every since they got into high school to get into his pants. Obviously, none of his attempts had worked at all and that only made Thranduil bitter and desperate. Desperate enough that he resorted to petty taunts and even name calling whenever he saw Thorin. Having to put up with Thranduil's unwanted attention and attraction was bad enough, but Bilbo flat out refused to tolerate him saying anything negative or nasty about Thorin.

Not that Thorin couldn't defend himself because he very well could. He had proved on more than one occasion that he could handle himself just fine indeed. However, that didn't mean that Bilbo wouldn't get involved if he saw fit to. While Thranduil rarely backed down when he and Thorin got into it, he would almost always stop and recoil when Bilbo got involved. That was because it took a lot for Bilbo to stand up and shout and everybody knew it too. Half of the time, he felt as though he were dealing with children. Well, if that were the case, then he was more than ready for a baby.

"Hello, Bilbo," Thranduil said in a voice as smooth as silk. He made his way over to the shorter senior and leaned against the counter beside him.

"Hello," Bilbo replied, nodding stiffly and kept his gaze focused on the papers and items littering Ms. Smith's desk.

"I can see that you're doing well. Is the baby okay?" Thranduil asked him. Bilbo wanted to punch him; he really did. Thranduil even being nice and asking him simple questions made Bilbo want to yell in annoyance.

"She's doing quite well, thank you," Bilbo said trying to be polite and courteous even though what he really wanted to do was turn his back on him and leave. Spirit club meeting changes be damned; they weren't worth putting up with the inevitable flirting that was more than likely to occur any second now.

"You're still so tiny for being pregnant. But then, you've always been quite small. Small and perfect," Thranduil said. And there it was.

"I suppose…" Bilbo mumbled because, even though he wanted to leave, he had been brought up to be polite and respectful of everyone. And, unfortunately, Thranduil was part of everyone.

"Your hair looks very nice, Bilbo. I'm always amazed that it's still radiant and silken even though you're living with that barbarian."

"Thorin is not a barbarian and I wish that you would stop calling him that," Bilbo said coolly. Thranduil hummed and gazed at Bilbo, which caused him to fidget and shift nervously. Where was Ms. Smith? Heck, where was Mrs. Campbell for that matter?

"It still amazes me," Thranduil said suddenly. Bilbo looked over at him briefly before he spotted a very piece of wall to stare at.

"What does?"

"The fact that you're still with that brute. You must feel bad for him or you're being charitable because you haven't left him yet," answered Thranduil.

"Nor will I. And I'm not with him because I feel bad or him or because I'm being charitable. I'm with Thorin because I'm in love with him just as much as he's in love with me," Bilbo said, shooting Thranduil a glare. The taller blonde merely chuckled.

"You're such a sweet person, Bilbo. You won't even admit to yourself that you pity him."

"I don't pity him. There's nothing there to pity. Thorin's smart, good at sports, and will be going to college once he's graduated. And I'll be joining him. He already knows what he's going to do with his life and he's willing to take on responsibilities and hard ships to get where he wants to go. He's brilliant and wonderful and I love him all the more for it," Bilbo said proudly, smiling as he thought about his fiancé and how much he'd rather be in his arms than standing here with Thranduil. If Mrs. Campbell didn't show up in the next minute, he was going to leave.

"You're only saying that because he knocked you up," Thranduil said coolly. "If you didn't have that whelp inside you, you'd think differently." Anger sheered through him and Bilbo turned and faced Thranduil. Glaring up into his eyes, Bilbo practically got in his face as he spoke.

"Don't you ever, ever, call my child a whelp ever again. Do you understand me? Don't you ever talk about Thorin to me every again as well. As a matter of fact, don't talk to me at all. It's time that reality sunk in and you realized and understood that when I said that I'm never, ever going to even consider you as potential boyfriend material, I meant it!"

Bilbo stepped back and stood up proud and strong, his baby bump quite obviously protruding from his body. But he didn't mind. He was more than proud to show Thranduil and the rest of the world that he was pregnant with Thorin's child. It may have happened far sooner than either of them had expected, but that didn't mean that they were going to treat their child or allow others to treat their child like an abomination.

Thranduil's eyes flashed with anger and humiliation. His lips pursed in a thin line and his body shook with suppressed rage. It pleased Bilbo very much to know that he had managed to get underneath the other's skin. But his pride vanished when Thranduil took a step towards him. Automatically, he took a step back, his eyes widening slightly even though he still glared up at the taller teenager.

"Bilbo, I don't think that _you _understand," Thranduil said lowly. "I've liked you for many, many years now, before we even entered high school. I was always kind to you and I always complimented you, but you never once looked my way. You never once considered me!"

"That's because there was no one else for me but Thorin," Bilbo told him firmly, as he had numerous times.

"I could have been the one for you! But you wouldn't give us a chance! Why? What have I ever done to you to make you turn away from my love?" Thranduil demanded, backing Bilbo against the counter.

"Step away from him," came Thorin's voice. Relief flooded throughout Bilbo and he turned to find Thorin standing in the door way that separated the guidance office from the actual office. He was very close to Bilbo and within a few strides, Bilbo was at him side.

"This discussion doesn't concern trash like you," Thranduil hissed at Thorin.

"It does when you're threatening my fiancé," Thorin answered him, his voice calm and steady. It was a façade. Bilbo could see just how angry Thorin was by looking into his blue eyes. They were bright and fierce with fire and rage and they were beautiful.

"Fiancé?" Thranduil asked, looking between the both of them, his eyes wide.

Bilbo stepped around Thorin and bent down to pick up his book bag. Hoisting it onto his shoulder, his left hand clung to it and flashed the simple band of gold that shone brightly on his ring finger. Thorin had wanted to get him a ring that had diamonds on it and that was extravagant and flashy. But Bilbo wanted a simple golden band and nothing more. After all, when compared to Thorin, the ring meant practically nothing to him. Thranduil caught sight of it and he inhaled deeply through his nose.

"You…you two are…?" he trailed off, at a loss for words for once.

"Yes, we are," Bilbo told him firmly.

"Oh, Bilbo… You're making a mistake…" Thranduil said, shaking his head. Bilbo rolled his eyes and was about to say something when Ms. Smith came back into the office. She looked between the three of them before she spoke.

"Is everything all right here?" she asked.

"Everything is fine, Ms. Smith," Thranduil told her. "I was just leaving." With one last glare at Thorin and Bilbo, he walked out of the guidance office. Bilbo turned to Ms. Smith.

"Would you mind telling Mrs. Campbell that the spirit club meeting needs to be moved from Tuesday to Wednesday due to soft ball practice please?" he asked her.

"Sure thing, sweetie. I'll let her know as soon as I see her."

"Thank you," Bilbo said before he and Thorin walked through the office and out into the lobby. Exiting the school, they made their way towards Thorin's car, where Fili, Kili, and Frodo were.

"How long were you there watching and listening?" Bilbo asked Thorin.

"Long enough to know that Thranduil deserves much more than the stern words you said to him," Thorin replied.

"Thank you for showing up. I feel better knowing that you were there for pretty much the entire time," Bilbo said as he leaned into his fiancé, enjoying his body heat.

"Anything for you. But if he calls our daughter a 'whelp' again, I will hunt him down and kill him myself," Thorin growled. Bilbo smiled up at him.

"Don't kill him. I'd rather not have my fiancé in prison for murder," he said.

"Then I'll have to have help hiding the body," Thorin said simply. Bilbo chuckled softly before he leaned up and pressed a kiss to Thorin's lips.

"I probably shouldn't mention this now, but I love it when you get possessive and protective," Bilbo muttered against his lips.

"Oh, I know you do," Thorin said, a grin playing across his handsome face.

"You know, I had planned on resting once we got home, but I don't know if I'll be able to now," Bilbo told him.

"Well, I'll just have to see what I can do then, won't I?" Thorin asked, his eyes shining with mischief and a small amount of lust.

"Yes, you most certainly will," Bilbo said before he got into the passengers' seat of the car.

Within seconds, they were pulling out of the school's student parking lot and heading home.


End file.
